


The Story of Theodore

by The_Anglophile



Series: All Beatles Fic by The_Anglophile [2]
Category: The Beatles
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-21
Updated: 2004-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Anglophile/pseuds/The_Anglophile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young fella discovers The Beatles... and they weren't what he expected!  Cracky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Story of Theodore

  


Theodore was a good lad. His mother always told him so, even when no one else did. She was proud of him even when he managed to fail most of his lessons at school, and would tell him how brave he was even when he lost fights against the other boys in the school-yard. It might have been this constant praise from her, which often came undeserved, that caused Theodore to become rather big-headed. In actual fact he became big all over and soon enough the other boys were calling him “fatty” (though they steered clear of fights, not wanting to be squashed).

By fourteen, Theodore’s headmaster recommended that he try to find a job as opposed to staying in school any longer, and his mother, of course, was delighted.

“Ma little boy is growin’ oop!” she cooed, squeezing Theodore’s face between her hands. 

He went in search of a job in town (Glasgow is where he lived), but most of the people who were in need of help wouldn’t take him.

“He’s got slow, piggy-lookin’ eyes.” He heard one man whisper behind his back to a friend.

‘I have not!’ thought Theodore indignantly, ‘Mother says they’re beautiful.’

Beautiful eyes or not, he did manage to secure a job at a shoe store, taking customers’ money. It lasted only a week though, as he did not have a good grasp of numbers and figures and lost the store a lot of money.

“The boy’s thick as a fence post!” his employer had grumbled, trying to rectify one of Theodore’s many blunders.

After that job had ended, Theodore made another round of the local stores. His last stop was at the Odeon theatre. As it turned out, they were in need of someone to stick around after shows to clean up rubbish and sweep the floors. Theodore jumped at the opportunity, knowing _this_ was something he couldn’t _possibly_ fail at! 

And he certainly didn’t! In fact, the managers of the Odeon told him that he was simply the _best_ custodian they had ever had. His mother was thrilled, naturally. She bragged to all her friends about it at their bridge games. Theodore bragged about it to anyone who would listen, which wasn’t many people to be honest.

Soon enough (at age seventeen and a half) Theodore was offered the position of usher due to his hard work as a custodian. He proudly brought the news home to his mother who promptly telegrammed his father who was overseas in the military. They never heard back from him about it though.

But this didn’t bother Theodore one bit. He was thoroughly enjoying his new authority as an usher, and was perhaps a bit too enthusiastic as he had to be taken aside by the other usher to be told when it was appropriate to boot a theatre-goer and when it was not.

A few years went by uneventfully until, in April 1964, when Theodore was 24, he heard that the BEATLES were to be performing at Odeon Glasgow! He had heard vaguely of them, but had to be informed of their enormous importance by a co-worker at the theatre.

What she told him thoroughly impressed his small mind, and he became very eager to see them. It was all he would talk about to anyone who would listen for weeks on end! When the big day finally arrived, Theodore made sure that looked as sharp as possible, even donning a bow-tie and doing up his hair, rocker-style like he’d seen in the cinema. “Ya look so han’some, Theo!” His mother gushed as he strutted out the door.

Once at the theatre, he made sure to take a position at the edge of the stage so he could have a clear view of the Beatles when they came on. As the kids began to fill the theatre he was astonished at the noise they made, yelling for the Beatles to come out. He felt obligated to inform them that the band hadn’t arrived yet, so they should save their breath. They just looked at him oddly and continued yelling.

In about a half an hour the theatre was full and the house lights had gone down. Theodore was on the verge of yelling for them himself.

At long last the announcer stopped ad-libbing and said: “Now, may I present, The Beatles!”

The kids went wild and so did Theodore. That is, until he actually saw them. The hair! No one had told him about the hair!

‘They look like girls!’ he thought slightly angrily. He definitely had not been prepared for the hair.

Thereafter during the concert he neither listened nor cared, but simply leaned in a surly way against the stage glaring at all the photographers.

Despite his disappointment, he still would tell anyone who would listen that he had seen THE Beatles, because, after all, it _was_ the most interesting event of his life!

  


The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> 2013: I've always been highly amused and fascinated by the random people who appear in photographs of the famous, and I wanted to write a story about one, so I did.... way back in 2004.


End file.
